Bombarded as we all are these days by news reflecting all imaginable degrees of relevance and credibility, I try my best to filter out that which is obviously trashy. But the other day, I came across this headline from the Guardian newspaper in England:
“Kings of Leon forced off stage by incontinent pigeons.”
I’m sorry. I’m as serious minded as the next journalist, but there is simply no way I’m ignoring this. Here is, quite literally, the poop:
Turns out rock celebs Kings of Leon were performing an amphitheatre concert last Friday in St. Louis and were inundated by flocks of pigeons – or, as the Guardian piece termed them, “avian music critics” – with weak digestive tracts. After only three songs, the band fled the stage after being bombed by bird droppings.
On a serious note, bird poop is nasty stuff. It can cause histoplasmosis and God-only-knows what else. And, frankly, if I found myself a walking target for a swarm of poop-flinging birds, I’d run too. But you gotta admit this is funny. And talk about an event that effectively blows rock star canonizing to smithereens.
This week, all kinds of news stories have pooped – er, popped – up online about Pigeonfest. An especially imaginative E Online piece ran a supposed facebook commentary submitted by one of the offending birds (“Archie Pigeon,” he calls himself) while a CNN story comes with three pages of laugh-out-loud replies from readers (my favorite: “Fox should sign these birds as the new American Idol judges.”).
Kings of Leon is scheduled to play Riverbend in Cincinnati on Saturday of Labor Day weekend. The venue is roughly 80 miles from Lexington – as the pigeons fly.